they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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