Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize