Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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