That reminds me...we need to get swords
she peed on how many people?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
