So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
