boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
