4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sponge bath it is.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am available for nakedness
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
