I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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