I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
