Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
