I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
