She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
