the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
