Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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