Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
