My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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