I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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