i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
