I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
