We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am mentally ready for anal.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize