I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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