please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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