i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
