wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
