"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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