I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
