Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
