Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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