i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
