she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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