Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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