yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize