We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
