It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
