You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
