do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
