hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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