So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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