Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
