bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
