Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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