dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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