Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You pole danced in your parka.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize