Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
