I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
