he wants to bone in the snuggie
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
