I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
