I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
third nipple confirmed
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
