I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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