Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
