she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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