I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
