i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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