carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
