I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
