3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
