quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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