That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
