he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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