we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
